My brother is a terrible uncle. He doesn't spend time with his nieces bird watching, hiking and buying them healthy snacks like I am sure good Uncles do. He definitely is not in charge when it comes to the two mini people in his life. No he takes them trampolining, allows them to freely spend large chunks of his cash and fills my house with what feels like hundreds of bloody helium balloons (he appeared this weekend with what has become a customary balloon which he had carried on a train all the way from Bristol)
You would think he would have been thoroughly put off this expensive present idea as the first time he bought her one she promptly pulled it off of its weight and gleefully watched as it soared into the sky over the shops of Bristol. Undeterred he then proceeded to buy her another one the next time we saw him. This time she came running from the shop shouting "Peppa Pig be free" and attempting to launch this one into the sky also. She seems to have decided that to fulfill its destiny a helium balloon must be immediately released into the sky upon purchase to the soundtrack of a now skint and horrified uncle.
He once told me that he is powerless to resist the demands of Daughter Number One and if she were to ask him for all his money he would reluctantly have no choice but to say "Ok" and hand it over to her.
Unfortunately for him D1 has started to realise this..
He likes to play a game with her where he asks if she would rather have something or a hundred pounds. For example he will say "What would you like more, a biscuit, or a hundred pounds." When this first started she would of course always choose the biscuit or whatever else he was offering. Until the one time she chose a hundred pounds. Our reaction was obviously so hilarious (Brother going puce, husband chocking with laughter, me holding out my hand in a "well you did offer it so hand it over" kind of fashion) that she now always chooses the hundred pound offer.
We are fairly sure his tab with her is now into the thousands..
Cut to a family trip to Bristol to visit said brother/Uncle. We had decided to indulge in some retail therapy whilst we were there. Brother was releasing D1 from her car seat and suddenly said "As you've been such a good girl I will let you have £3 to spend on whatever you would like today."
D1 looks at him thoughtfully, looks at us and then exclaims "one hundred pounds please!"
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